


That Thing In Your Head

by mylordshesacactus



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-09
Updated: 2014-03-09
Packaged: 2018-01-15 04:56:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1292218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylordshesacactus/pseuds/mylordshesacactus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Look at me. Look at me, you're not looking. There. Right there. This is someone who cares.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Thing In Your Head

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don't know where this fic came from; I was brushing my teeth and all of a sudden a mad man in a box popped into my head and borrowed it for a minute, said he had to do something important. It... seemed like maybe the kind of thing that people should see.

 

Oh dear. That's not good. That is very not good.

I need you to look at me. Look in my eyes.

Aaaah. There you are.

Now listen to me. Listen to me very closely and don't be afraid. You're not yourself. There is something  _inside_  you.

...You don't look surprised.

I see. You knew, didn't you? You could feel it. You poor, poor creature. Did you think you were alone? You're never alone, not ever. It's in your mind, isn't it? Yes, I can see it… it's hacked into your brain, it's controlling your emotions. You've felt that, haven't you? It's in there telling you you're not good enough, that you'll never be happy, telling you there's no hope.

Look at me. Look at me and listen very carefully.

It's lying to you. It's  _lying to you._  You are important, you may be the most important person in the universe, somewhere there is someone to whom  _you_  are more important than every star that will ever shine, and that thing in your brain is stopping you from realizing it.

Yes, you know that, don't you. But you don't believe it. No matter how many times you tell yourself it's not true you can never  _believe it,_  because it won't let you. Oh, that's brilliant, it's so  _simple_ , it sits in your mind and controls your emotions, makes you feel anything it wants you to feel and you can't even think through it, because it tells you you're wrong and your body agrees, it's the perfect killer, lets you do its dirty work for it because the only time you can control your own  _mind_  is when the pain in your body distracts it—

How did I know?

I'm the Doctor. I know everything. Don't be silly.

Now I want you to listen to me very carefully. Nothing it says is real. It feels real but that's all it is, it's just an illusion. I'll tell you a secret, something I've learned about humans. You're bigger on the inside, and that means there's so much more of you to hurt. This  _thing,_  it's a coward, a parasite, a playground bully, it would never fight on even ground, and why should it? It can do twice as much damage, three, a million times more if it attacks from the  _inside_. It makes you feel alone, it makes you so incredibly vulnerable and nobody can see you're in pain because they can't see you bleeding. It wants you broken, it wants  _you_  to think you're worthless because once that happens—once that happens, when even  _you_  won't come to your defense then it's won, you'll do whatever it tells you, because why  _wouldn't_  you, if you think you're worth less than nothing!

Oh, that's clever. That's terribly, terrifyingly clever. You  _are_  a little monster, aren't you.

But don't worry. You're not alone now. You're never alone. Look at me.  _Look_  at me, you're not looking.

There.

Right there.

This is someone who cares. _I_ care, I care what happens to you, right now, and for the rest of all your days. And right now that thing in your head is saying that's not true, that I'm only saying it to be polite or out of pity, and  _it is lying to you._  It wants you to believe that, so that when you're alone and afraid you'll start to listen to it and it can do what it wants.

But you're not going to let it, are you.

No, you're not, you're going to  _fight_  it. No matter what, no matter where, no matter  _when,_  if you ever start to believe that thing gnawing at your head even for a minute you're going to tell someone, tell them that you need help and you want someone to talk to you, or hold you, or just sit there quietly and not let you be alone. And when you try to do that it'll fight you, tell you you're being stupid or pathetic or that they don't care, they won't come.

And it's lying to you. Say it. Go on, you can do it, I know you can. Say it. Take some of its power away.

_It's lying to you._

There you go!

Now it's not going to be easy. He's a nasty little thing and he won't go quietly, and last time I tried to use the sonic on one of these things it wasn't pretty. Didn't do anything to the parasite, set a perfectly good hat on fire, River laughed at me for days. You're going to have to do a lot of it yourself. Just remember: the bad days don't mean you're losing, they mean it's getting scared. Bullies always get more aggressive when they're scared. When it starts getting angry, it'll tell you it's because you're worthless, you're failing, anything to make you want to stop trying. And…?

Exactly.

Don't you believe it, you beautiful creature. Don't you believe it for a minute. You don't win a war in one battle. Well, sometimes you do but not on this planet recently, and I doubt again in your lifetime though there's this rather brilliant chap in 2453—

Right. Well. Spoilers.

I can't stay here very long, there's a thing going on with some alien squid—well they're not actually squid but there's really no translation, the TARDIS can only do so much so they're basically squid, except with lasers. Squids with lasers! Very cool. We're probably going to die. 

The point! Yes. The point is that you're fighting a  _war_. Battles, battles are easy, anyone can win a  _battle,_  you just point at the enemy and charge. A war, those are much more difficult. You have to be  _clever_  to win a war, you have to call in reinforcements, form alliances, stir up rebellions. You have to know when you can't win a battle on your own, and bounce back from failures and losses and death, it's all terribly exciting. Not really, it's really horrible, but some things are worth fighting for.

You're worth fighting for.


End file.
